Of Therapy and Dumpster Fires

Hi Friends,

Just checking in, pretending that you care about my welfare.

I don’t remember the last time I wrote candidly about myself. It has definitely been a while.

If you ask me how I’ve been this week, I’d say:

Dumpster Fires

I broke down at therapy yesterday; I’ve been going for 3 months now and this is the first time that I cried like I did. Silently, but with tears just flowing freely down my face with every thought that flitted through my exhausted brain. I had to just walk in and collapse on the couch for my therapist to go “you’re exhausted today.” To be fair, my general answer to “How are you?” is usually “exhausted”, but I’ve not felt this tired in a long while.

I can feel my body slowly disintegrating. It’s breaking apart – piece by goddamn piece.

EDIT – I’m writing this on the second of Jan (Happy New Year) because I forgot I had this draft going (Good job, Bhav)

It happened again; this time I cried in front of my mum. I couldn’t even control it – the tears would come, they would stop, I’d think and they’d start again. These are times wherein I’m too exhausted to even speak; its like I had lost my voice.

I hadn’t taken my medication in a week. I would NOT recommend this at all. This was something I tried and the results were, um, terrible. My body shut done completely and my brain disintegrated. And I  cried. Man, did I cry. I had had such an amazing day to boot.

DO NOT STOP YOUR MEDICATION UNLESS TOLD BY YOUR PSYCHIATRIST PLEASE.

I’m better now, thanks for asking. Mum did not appreciate the crying, though.

Will be back with a year end report soon.

x

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